I wanted the love more than I wanted the success

There’s something I can see so clearly now that I’m writing my book Love, Received.

I always wanted love and not just love. I wanted “the one”. And I wanted the business too. I’m ambitious, driven and I have always felt my calling. 

I knew I was here to create something, to build something, to work with women, to make money through my gifts and to keep following the work wherever she wanted to take me. None of that was fake. None of it was compensation disguised as ambition.

But if you had sat me down years ago and asked me to be completely, painfully honest about what I desired most…

I think I would have said him. The love.

The man I somehow knew existed before I knew his name, his face, and where I would meet him or how our lives would eventually find each other. And I see this in so many of the women I work with too.

Women with a beautiful business. Big dreams and big callings. Women who genuinely love what they do and aren't secretly waiting for a man to come along so they can abandon all of it and disappear into his life.

And still…they want the love.

Sometimes more than the next revenue goal.Sometimes more than another amazing launch.Sometimes more than the thing they feel they’re supposed to want most because they are ambitious women with a mission.

And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.I actually think love that you know is possible is one of the deepest desires you can carry.

The taboo of a successful woman admitting how deeply she wants love

I think this is the part we don't talk about enough. It’s perfectly acceptable for a successful woman to say she would also like love.

❤️ Love beside the business. ❤️ Love beside the money goals. ❤️ Love beside the mission.

Love as another beautiful thing she gets to add to an already full life. But admitting that if she tells the absolute truth, she may desire the love even more? That still feels strangely taboo. Especially in worlds where women have spent years learning that power means not needing anyone.

Where independence can easily become confused with indifference. Where wanting a man too deeply can be interpreted as a wound, a lack of wholeness, and something to heal and to transcend.

But dependence and desire are not the same thing. 🌟 You can be able to hold your own life and still deeply want someone beside you. 🌟 You can make your own money and still want to be held. 🌟 You can love your work and still know that another launch will never give you what intimacy can.

You can be complete and still feel the absence of the person you know you want to share your life with. Because intuitively you know he’s out there. Your future love story is already planted in your heart. 

Wanting to be loved doesn't cancel your sovereignty or make you less powerful. Maybe we need to stop asking successful women to prove how little they need love in order to qualify as empowered.

When love gives you so much more than you ever dreamed of...

I could feel the love before I had proof of it

Writing Love, Received has made me see just how deep that knowing always was.

Because so many chapters are written now. So many stories are sitting in front of me. Pieces of my life that I experienced separately at the time, but that I can now see as one long thread.

I knew. I always knew.

❤️ Even when reality gave me very little evidence to support that knowing. ❤️ Even when I experienced relationships that weren't it (and damn..did I had my fair share of that…you’ll read it all in my book 😉). ❤️ Even when I could have made a very convincing case for settling and dismiss the love as a fantasy or something I just needed to heal. 

Somewhere underneath all of that, I knew what love could feel like for me and my knowing was right. That’s perhaps one of the most emotional parts of writing this book. Not simply looking at the love I have now, but meeting all those previous versions of me again and realizing…

You weren't asking for too much. You weren't imagining it. You weren't supposed to stop wanting it.

❤️ There really was a love that matched what you could already feel. ❤️ There really was a man you could love that deeply and who would always choose you. ❤️ There really was a version of your life where you didn't have to choose between being wildly in love and wildly devoted to your business.

And I think sometimes the deepest manifestation isn't learning how to desire something. It's having the courage to keep honoring a desire you already know is true when life hasn't shown you the evidence yet.

It was my job to keep my heart open for the love I always knew was possible for me.

My business was never supposed to replace love

There’s another thing I understand better now too. Receiving the love didn't make my business less important. It only made the relationship with my business even better. Because my business no longer had to make up for the missing of the one.

My business was always a calling. It was just never meant to make up for the missing of the one.

She didn't have to be everything. Or give me all my excitement, intimacy, validation, belonging, purpose, aliveness and proof that my life was working. Pffff ha ha ha. 😅

She could just be my business again. My creation.

The place where my ideas become real, where I get to work with extraordinary women, and where I get to make things that didn't exist before I made them. And I wonder how many women have unknowingly asked their business to carry the weight of the love they haven't received yet.

🌟 Another launch.

🌟 Another 100k.

🌟 Another mastermind where everybody should know your name.

Success is beautiful and amazing, but it can’t hold you in bed at night. It can’t look into your eyes and love you like no one else ever did. It can’t build a family with you. It can’t be the witness to your life that another human being can be.

And admitting that doesn't make you less powerful.

Receiving love didn't make me less ambitious

I think this is another story we've somehow inherited. That if a woman really receives the love, perhaps she won't want as much anymore.

🌟 Maybe she'll soften so much she stops building.

🌟 Maybe the ambition was only there because she was compensating for something.🌟 Maybe once the man arrives, the fire disappears.

That hasn't been my experience.

Marrying my soulmate husband didn't make me want less from my business. It made my desires cleaner. My business no longer needed to prove that my life was extraordinary enough without the love.

Success didn't need to compete with intimacy.Money didn't need to fill an emotional space it could never actually fill.And he didn't ask me to become smaller either.

He loves both my softness and my power and that’s a very different thing. I never had to choose between my marriage or my calling. I don’t do my rituals in secret, settle in my goals or all of a sudden became less ambitious. 

Receiving him allowed me to love my business without asking it to be something it was never meant to be.

My husband gets to be my husband and my business gets to be my business.

What if you were right about the love all along?

I think this is one of the threads running through Love, Received even more deeply than I understood when I started writing it.

What happens when a woman: 🌟 stops treating her desire for love as something she needs to transcend?

🌟 doesn't lower the bar because everyone around her tells her relationships require compromise?

🌟 trusts the love she can feel before she can see it and continues to create a beautiful life while still being honest enough to whisper…"yes AND I want love too"?

You always know. I did and I know you already feel him too. Even if everything in your life right now looks differently. 

Listen, I want you to know this: sometimes the thing you have been carrying in your heart for years isn't there to torture you with what you don't have. If you look back weeks, months or even a year from now…you’ll see that life was preparing you. 

She shows you what you’re capable of receiving.She is bringing you two closer and closer together. 

Looking back, you’ll know it. I’ll bet everything on it. Because I’ll always tell you that I believe that you get to have both. 

The amazing partner and a loving, successful business. You get to have both. 

Love, Received: for the woman who refuses to settle for less than what she knows is possible

Love, Received isn't finished yet, but so many of the chapters are already written. You can still join Love, Received — The Book Club and dive right into them with us. You don't have to wait until the finished book to dive into the story. 

You get to read the chapters as they're being written, ask me your questions, the stories awaken in you, and move through this exploration of love alongside me.

And when Love, Received is finished at the end of this year, I'll send your personal copy of the book to you in the mail.

Maybe you'll read it differently by then or maybe your relationship with love will already have changed.Because perhaps the love you can feel is possible isn't asking you to get over it…she’s asking you to trust it and open your heart a little more. If you desire more info or have a question, just send me an email or DM on social media.  Lots of love, Cindy