How you are with one, is how you are with all

The hidden pattern that keeps powerful women settling in business, love, and life

I believe there is a wave moving through the world that is powerful and confronting. These past months the women in my business all heal a deep layer of their mother wound.

The wound that is most avoided, bypassed but also the one that expands you the most, if you allow yourself to heal. This newsletter has been on my list for days, if not weeks…and in the light of Spring…it’s time. It’s a long read, but grab a drink and let’s go.

There is a version of you who built a life that looks powerful.

You are visible. You make money. And you lead in a way that confronts some and allows others to leap into amazing things. And still…there is a place where you don’t allow yourself to be all of you. Or can’t be all of you, while staying soft in your body. 

Not fully honest.

Not fully expressed.

Not fully free.

For most women I work with, that place is not in their business. She feels it there, but she will never link it like this.

First you’ll look at your strategy, your content or the relationships in your inner circle even. But the depth of this almost invisible layer is not there. 

It’s always in the one place that everyone wants to avoid.

Your mother.

Your upbringing.

All the way to your original blueprint. 

This is the part no one wants to talk about

I don’t believe in forgiveness when it comes to narcissistic or emotional unsafe parents. At least not the kind of forgiveness that is preached in the spiritual world. The kind that keeps you stuck in survival and bypass. 

The kind where you stay available.

The kind where you soften your truth.

The kind where you keep showing up…even when your body is telling you not to.

That is not forgiveness. That is conditioning and a survival technique. Just now covered up with sage, mantras and a blindfold to not have to feel all the feels. 

That is the little girl inside of you who learned very early: if I don’t take care of her… no one will.

The women I work with are always powerful women

I have sat with women whose mothers:

• threatened or committed suicide

• were so anxious they could barely function or hold space for a single emotion

• and often completely disappeared when it mattered most (think sexual abuse, violence and other experiences where her role was to be the one that protected you).

  
  

Because of this these women never get to be children. They became the emotional caretaker far too soon. The stable one and the one who holds it all together.

And today they are the leaders. The women on stages. Powerful women who hold other women in such deep layers. They build their businesses, movements and families.

But there is always one place where the pattern is still alive…and as long as it is, it’s the invisible layer through everything else you desire to create. 

The place where she becomes small again

I have seen this pattern happen with 7fig women, women who already hold large audiences and women who just start or desire the love of a lifetime. The place where they become that little girl again, is with their mother. That’s where they shrink and allow all their beliefs to fly out the window with the wind. 

They soften their truth. They step back into responsibility. And they become the one who regulates everything. Because: “no one else is there for her”. But here is the truth most women don’t want to face (especially within the spiritual world…): there is a reason no one else is there.

And the moment you ignore that truth… you step out of your highest alignment.

How this shows up in your business or the creation process

You might think this pattern only shows up with your mother… but how you are with one is how you are will all. You can’t close your heart and blindfold yourself the moment you open the door to your parent’s house…and expect your heart to ignore this, the moment you write down your desires. 

Love is the energy of truth and truth doesn’t work like this. Again, how you are with one… is how you are with all. I see it in business every single day:

• You overgive, because you learned love equals effort.

• You undercharge, because your needs were never prioritized.

• You hold clients you should have released, because you feel responsible for their outcomes.

• You make yourself smaller so others don’t feel uncomfortable around your power.

• You are still regulating others… instead of leading.

How this shows up in your love life

And in love? It becomes even more visible.

In my book: Love, Received I’m gonna write about how the man that skyrocketed me out of this pattern…was exactly like my mom.

You can still join the Book Club btw. I love, love this offer. It’s free, filled with extra videos and it’s so personal. The women inside the club love it and if you desire to join, just enter the club through this link. 

Back to the patterns in love. This was so me as well. I stayed longer than I should have. I ignored my no’s. And I confused intensity with connection. And the men who were actually safe, didn’t match my idea of love. 

I always see this play out within women, because your body never learned what love really is. To you love means responsibility, walking on eggshells and staying, even when it hurts. 

So you call it growth and compliment yourself on your healing. But deep down…you know. This is not what you truly desire.

Energetic interference: the moment you step away from your truthThis is one of the ways energetic interference can show up. The moment you step away from truth…it will always find its way back in. 

Interference in this case sounds like: “just be the bigger person”, “she or he didn’t mean it like that”, “don’t make it a big deal”. And the biggest one (especially in love) “Don’t change or desire so much…this is good enough”.

Interference makes you: abandon your desire, override your body, and betray your own knowing. Why does this always happen and stays invisible? Because it feels familiar. The women in my coaching have been censoring their desires for years. 

It feels like “being a good person”. A good wife, daughter or best friend…when in reality… it is self-abandonment.

You can still create success like this

Let me be very clear, my women are powerful women. I built my own biz to a 200k year while being in the relationship that opened my eyes to this deep pattern. You are not wrong, fucked up or even misaligned. Because the pattern was invisible…but the moment you know…you can’t unsee it.

Because you will never be fully met. Your highest alignment will only respond to truth. And your desires are truth energy. They come from the heart.  So every time you settle, every time you stay available, every time you override what you actually want…you are not just choosing less.

You are choosing what I call energetic suicide.

A slow disconnection from the life you know is available to you.

The real work

This is not about blaming your parents. This is about telling the truth and about what still lives inside of you. To make aligned decisions. No longer from the wounded child, but from the woman you say you are.

Not everyone needs to forgive her mother. If, that will show itself and you will know. The first and most important step is: stop abandoning yourself for her.

The whole spiritual world wants to heal and reclaim their power. But this work is for the woman who is ready to face herself and knows she wants it all. The woman who says: this is what I want and means it.

The woman who is willing to lose: relationships that are not aligned, clients that are not a match and identities that no longer serve her. 

Because deep down you already know: if I keep closing my heart to stay safe, liked and “good”, I will never experience the fulfillment that I know is available for me. 

And no success, money or orgasm can make up for that emptiness inside. 

This is not soft healing work

This is leadership and legacy work. The work for women who know: this ends with me. No more emotional caretaking. No more self-abandonment. No more negotiating with my inner girl…

As of today, there is only truth. Allow yourself to feel and declare your desires and hold yourself to the standards of your highest alignments.

This is The Journey of the Priestess and if you know this is your next level, send me a reply or a DM on Instagram. I’m not doing this every month, but if you desire to know more…just let me know and we will feel into the right container for you. 

Within my business I have a high level 1:1 spot opening up soon and my husband and I are expanding our work together behind the scenes. 

That way there are also options in which we combine the work and the price level is different. Just send me a message if you would love to learn more about our Union Work.

Do you want to receive more inspiration and get started right away with the tools, teachings, and insights that help my clients grow in business, love, and life? Then sign up for the Free Temple and get immediate access. And before I let you carry on with your day, please know that I honestly believe every woman can heal. We all have the same potential and we all started somewhere. I will always show up for your highest alignment and hold you every step of the way.

With lots of love,

Cindy