It has always been love: What happens when love becomes the authority
Love.
It has always been love.
The older I get, the more I can see that underneath almost every big decision I have made in my life, every leap, every ending, every beginning, every moment where I refused to stay where I was simply because staying would have been easier…there was love.
Not always the soft kind.
Not always the kind that looked beautiful from the outside.
❤️ Sometimes love looked like leaving or disappointing people.
❤️ Sometimes love looked like making a decision nobody around me understood yet.
❤️ Sometimes love looked like burning down a version of my life that was technically working because somewhere inside of me I knew…this is not how I am meant to live.
Sometimes loving yourself means leaving
Love for myself was quitting corporate and starting my own business.
I didn't have some perfectly mapped-out entrepreneurial identity waiting for me on the other side.
I just knew I couldn't keep abandoning myself in the name of safety.
And so I chose myself.
Love for myself was walking away from family relationships that were hurting me, even though family is one of those words we're taught should somehow override everything.
"Stay because they're family, forgive because they're family or keep the door open because they're family." But sometimes loving yourself means admitting that someone can share your blood and still not get unlimited access to you.
❤️ Sometimes love closes the door.
❤️ Sometimes love chooses distance.
❤️ Sometimes love says: this ends with me.
Love changed my relationship with money too
It was love when I started healing my relationship with money. Not because I wanted money to make me worthy or because I believed having more would finally prove I had succeeded. I felt called to heal my relationship with money, because I no longer wanted struggle to be my normal.
I no longer wanted to create from month to month and "just enough". I didn't want lack to be the background music of my life or to keep making decisions from fear.
❤️ I wanted abundance.
❤️ I wanted overflow.
❤️ I wanted money to support the life I could feel was possible for me.
And somewhere along the way, money stopped being something I had to fight with and became something I could be in relationship with. It showed me that money is love and carries the same frequency.
Love for my life.
Love for my freedom.
Love for the woman I was becoming.
Love for my child while I was still a single mom at the time.
Love for what money made possible.
Love means allowing yourself to change
It was love in business when I stopped trying to remain inside the version of myself that already made sense.
❤️ When the coach became more of the creator and the writer too.
❤️ When I started creating the things I wanted to see in the world instead of waiting for someone else to make them.
❤️ When an oracle deck became more than an idea and ended up on women's altars all over the world.
❤️ When creativity started asking for more space.
❤️ When business stopped being only about what I could teach and became a place where I could make art, write, create, channel, play, provoke and bring things into form that had never existed before.
Love in business opened my heart for my legacy...instead of just the next € ...k month.
Love for my work meant allowing her to change. And love for myself meant allowing me to change with her. Surrender to the unknown and my heart's desires...without having any proof that it would succeed.
Sometimes love means refusing to settle
And yes, love was becoming unavailable for relationships that weren't the love I knew was possible. That one is perhaps the clearest now. Because while writing Love, Received, I keep meeting earlier versions of myself again.
❤️ The woman who wanted him before she knew who he was.
❤️ The woman who knew a kind of love she couldn't yet point to in her physical reality.
❤️ The woman who could have talked herself into less. I could have told myself I was asking for too much. I could have listened to the people around me who called my intuition unrealistic (the story of my life 😉). And definitely
could have settled simply because waiting for what you truly desire requires a certain kind of courage.
But somewhere inside me, I knew. My heart has always known the love that was possible for me. My desire was never wrong. And eventually love for myself meant becoming unavailable for anything that asked me to betray that knowing.
Then I met my husband Roel and suddenly something I had for so long all of a sudden had a face. 😉
And writing this book now is making me realize once more that a woman always knows. Your heart's desires are never wrong. I just had to hold the energy before I had any evidence of him actually existing.
Love, it has always been love.
Motherhood made love even bigger
And then motherhood made the word even bigger. Love that rearranges your priorities.
Love that makes two hours of work enough some days because there is a child who needs you more than a business does. Love that teaches you there are things you simply will never be able to optimize 😉.
Love that makes you understand why success without a beautiful life around it isn't success at all.
And then grief taught me what an open heart really costs
Because I don't think I could write about love as the authority of my life without speaking about the kind that broke my heart open in ways I never would have chosen. Losing our daughter Anna Sophia changed what love meant to me forever. Because once you have loved someone you can't keep, you understand there is no guarantee attached to loving.
There is no contract saying: if you open your heart this deeply, life will make sure you never lose what you love. And still…
I want the open heart.
I want love.
I want life.
I want to feel all of it.
Maybe especially because I know what it costs, because love isn't only what keeps us safe. Sometimes love is the reason we risk being devastated and then somehow choose to remain open anyway.
Love.
It has always been love.
Love has been the thread underneath all of it
Which is why I don't think love belongs in one little category of my work. It's not simply relationship work. It's not a subject I talk about next to business and money and leadership and motherhood and grief.
The more I look at it, the more I realize…love has been the thread underneath all of it.
Love made me leave the toxic relationship.
Love made me stay when life broke our heart.
Love made me receive, because simply knowing how to sell was never enough.
Love made me create my heart's desires over and over again.
Love made me tell the truth when it was far from easy.
Love made me stop settling for breadcrumbs as love.
Love made me open my heart again after losing our daughter.
Love made me build the life I desire for my 2 boys.
Love made me burn things down that were no longer in my highest alignment.
Love made me become more discerning about who and what gets access to me.
Love made me choose pleasure...even when it was hard.
Love made me choose abundance when I all I knew at the time was struggle.
Love made me choose the man I love and choose to love every day.
Love made me choose the business even when she challenges me in the unknown.
Love made me choose myself over and over again.
And again.
And again.
Because that's what we came here for as a Soul with a human experience.
What happens when love becomes the authority?
Maybe this is why the language of leadership has never been able to hold the entirety of what I do. Leadership matters to me. Deeply, but leadership isn't the source of my creations or mentorship. Love is.
Because I don't want to teach women how to become better performers of leadership.
I don't want to teach them how to look powerful. This industry is already filled with too much surface level BS.
I want to know what happens when a woman becomes so devoted to love that she can no longer keep living a life that requires her to abandon herself. What happens when love becomes the authority?
When love says leave…and she leaves.
When love says wait…and she doesn't settle.
When love says make it…and she creates the thing.
When love says receive…and she stops proving.
When love says enough…and she closes the door.
When love says more…and she allows herself to desire more.
When love says this is your man…and she lets herself have him.
When love says this business is asking to change…and she trusts it.
When love says life is still worth loving after everything…and somehow, trembling perhaps, she says yes.
That's the real work.
Love. It has always been love. No matter what you do, create and desire for yourself. Desire more info about my work as a mentor? Send me an email through info@cindystal.nl or a DM on socials. If you're ready to open up to your hearts wisdom on a deeper level, you can also work with the Your Healing Journey oracle deck. So many women have send me their stories and how this deck has helped them listen to the whisper of their hearts. Not just through the cards, but because this deck carries the frequencies that will open your heart on a whole new level. Love, it has always been love. ❤️ And if you love a free taste of my work, you can always enter The Free Temple or download the Pleasure is your Birthright audio journey.
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