Your Healing Journey - Origin Story

This oracle deck, just like The Pussy Oracle deck, has taken her time to come to form. And maybe even more, allowed me to release all within me that was no longer needed when she would become a physical card deck instead of just an energy form. 

Because every creation from the heart starts within your heart first. Without a fixed form. That form will reveal itself when you are willing to show up for the creation first. You have to accept her first. 

I had to become one with her first. 

As this deck is so close to my own heart and lived experience, becoming the vessel for this creation wasn’t an overnight success. 

Feeling lost and alone

At first I felt lost and alone. Which was exactly the place to be to receive her transmission without it being mixed with someone else’s. Where The Pussy Oracle is all about the reclamation of your sexual power, this deck is pure heart medicine. I had to heal my own heart first.

Feeling anger and rage

After some time, the creation showed itself and the next steps became visible as well. I knew her form. She revealed her colors, some visuals and most of all her transmissions and the words people could feel her medicine through.

I could feel her pushing through me and with that I could feel my own anger why I had to be the one to create a deck like this. Maybe even more, why my heart had to be broken to become the space for others to step into a deeper connection with their own heart.

And of course it’s not that “black and white”, but that’s how it felt. I felt angry at God, life and maybe mostly at myself why I had raised my hand before I came to this earth and promised to be the one healing from this heartbreak.

Choosing the creation over myself and “what’s acceptable”

During the creation of this deck I had many moments where I had to face parts of myself that felt super uncomfortable. She is my second oracle deck and I learned a lot from The Pussy Oracle creation process.

I knew exactly what I wanted. I knew what worked and what didn’t. And I knew that I didn’t have to settle. Even though I’ve healed my fair share of people pleasing, I faced this identity in myself more times than I would like to admit. With the designer, the printer and even friends who’ve seen behind the scenes parts of the creation…I had to choose the creation over anything else. Over and over again. 

Rejection and grief

Towards the end of the creation process and the preparation phase of her launch, I could feel the necessity of time. The time I needed to release layers of grief within my body. This was far from comfortable. It even felt like a contradiction: where a launch would normally ask of me to step forward, I only felt the call to turn within and prepare nothing. 

The last 5 months before she was sent to the pre-sale buyers, I have shed many tears and grief armor from my body. I even felt the resistance in myself to step forward and become successful with a creation that was born through the biggest heartbreak of my life. 

And what if she would fail? That would hurt even more and losing my daughter Anna Sophia had already hurt me so much. 

As with all, the initiation came through life. More people than felt comfortable, told me they couldn’t imagine using this deck because they already loved The Pussy Oracle so much. 

And I had to be ok with that. Because I know this deck isn’t the same as The Pussy Oracle deck. To me they feel like amazing sisters. One to help you reclaim your sexual power and the other one helping you open your heart. 

There is always love

At the beginning of the creation it felt as if the Your Healing Journey oracle deck will heal your heart. However, it’s not her biggest transmission: 

She opens your heart to a love you’ve never felt possible for yourself. And not just a romantic love, but love as a way of life in all you do. A higher love. Love how she was always available in you, your heart and your body…just waiting for you to feel her and receive her. 

Life is always initiating us into something new and the biggest reward at the end, even when it looks like you lose or fail, is the deepening of that love as you allow life to move through you. 

When you stop resisting life, no matter what she brings you…there will always be love and so much more abundant than you could even allow before. 

Open your heart for love, always…

Cindy

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